‘Everyday’ Intelligence: Looking for A Job Rather Than THE Job

To be a graduate in the UK today is not what you might call a walk in the forest (in all honesty, though, you should only call a walk in the forest a ‘walk in a forest’ as the expression is incredibly unsatisfactory and nebulous).

By the age of twenty one, you are expected to have amassed tons of professional experience which is to aid you in your future (yet somewhat distant) career as a ‘young’ professional.

As noted in my previous article on work placements, though, this experience could only be obtained through unpaid work. Even though, some employers who provide such placements might find it quite difficult to believe, graduates cannot survive on unpaid work placements.

That is mainly because the human body requires food and liquids to function and, unless you are a graduate who is apt at hunting (WITH a hunting license, of course) or farming (// insert // a joke about cows and chicken and suchlike // insert //), those cost money.

Which, wait for it, you can’t really get by doing unpaid placements.

So, here’s where we stand at the moment:

• You graduate and want to find a job in your sector of choice.

• This often requires professional experience, obtainable through unpaid work placements.

• In order to survive through those (and in general), you need to find a job to keep you going.

• As you have not yet got the experience, it will have to be a job which does not require any or requires less professional experience.

As you might have probably guessed, the job referred to in the last bullet point is likely to be in the retail sector, i.e. waiter, bartender, etc. Alternatively, you might want to become a kitchen porter, a bell boy, an ASDA employee.

Now, and this is imperative, I do not mean to, in any way, belittle the efforts of those who have picked any of the above as their profession of choice. I am simply saying that they did not have to incur a debt of some £ 50, 000.00 to get there.

Unlike you. And me. And a lot of other people.

So you grab your CV and start going around only to be told that you are too overqualified for the above position. Why?

TIP ALERT: IT’S YOUR BACHELOR’S, MATE!

It is quite logical for people employing bar staff and waiters, for instance, to not want to employ university graduates, mainly because:

a) they might prove to be ultra ambitious and might be after their job; and

b) they are bound to leave within a couple of months.

The latter, of course, is not always true; yet, employers tend to stick to it quite often.

So how do you tackle this?

Several things:

• Leave out your Uni degree. I know it hurts, trust me, but it’s all for your own good
• Leave out your A- level results- it’s sufficient to note that you’ve gone to high school
• Remove ALL of your professional experience
• Under the Work Experience heading, include only temp work, volunteering and retail work to demonstrate your unwillingness to progress; again, painful, I know
• Include a sport and a language under your Skills heading
• Try to fit everything on a single page

If you’ve done all of the above, all you need to do now is to go around and hand in CVs. Do NOT wear a suit; put a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on.

Should you have any questions on how to do the above, please feel free to email me- I’d be happy to help out or give you an example CV.

To put in a nutshell, you really have to find A job before finding THE job because having no money and nothing to do obliterates your well- being and ambition to go on. Further, you could easily do unpaid work placements in your spare time.

It’s not as arduous as it sounds; just say ‘To Hell With It!’ and do it already!