‘Social’ Intelligence: Belittling the Efforts of Others- a Definite No-No

We all know how great we are and we often get a bit carried away by trying to remind everyone else that.

I do it, you do it, Hell, even ASDA does it! (ASDA value, no irony intended)

But, even though we really overdo it at times, bragging about our own awesomeness is perfectly understandable because we have walked a certain thorny path to get we are.

What I have always failed to understand, however, is how some people firmly believe that they have got the birth right to undermine others’ efforts and achievements.

I am not, of course, talking about brand wars; nor am I talking about political regimes such as capitalism, fascism, feudalism or dictatorship (although they all ARE an example of that; a bit baffling, no?).

I am referring to the normal day-to-day human interaction.

Imagine the following scenario:

‘Hey Jude, what’s up?’

‘Oh, hey Bono, you’ll never believe it! I just finished a 4,000 word paper on the ‘Culture of the Smurfs and the Serfs’! Took some time and effort but it’s finally done!!!’ (Notice the exclamation marks which denote Jude’s apparent exhilaration)

‘Pf, that’s nothing! I just finished a 6, 000 word paper on ‘The similarities and differences between Gargamel and Beshamel’ AND I did it in a day!’

‘Oh…’

See what Bono did there? He effectively killed off Jude’s enthusiasm and exhilaration with a single sentence which was, however, specifically directed at obliterating Jude’s achievement.

Only, it wasn’t really. What Bono was doing was sharing his grandeur with his friend, albeit in somewhat socially destructive manner. If you cross- refer to my very first paragraph, you will see that, normally, that’s a perfectly human thing to do.

Here, we’ve got a tweaked version of the same scenario:

‘Hey Jude, what’s up?’

‘Oh, hey Bono, you’ll never believe it! I just finished a 4,000 word paper on the ‘Culture of the Smurfs and the Serfs’! Took some time and effort but it’s finally done!!!’

‘Wow, nice job, mate! I also managed to finish my 6, 000 word paper on ‘The similarities and differences between Gargamel and Beshamel’!!!’

‘Good stuff! Let’s go out for a pint or ten then!’

What’s the difference, you might ask? Well, for one the Bono chap congratulated Jude on his efforts and DID NOT try to belittle his achievement by proclaiming that he had finished his more lengthy work quicker.

The above might sound quite daft to you but belittling other people’s efforts could cost you a friendship, a relationship or even a job.

So, don’t follow my example, and choose your words wisely.

Else, those around you will abhorred by your attitude and will most probably not-so-kindly ask you to go

To Hell With It!