Wednesday, 30 January 2013

A Runt’s Rant: The Horror of Eating Out

I shan’t waste your time (and mine) with idle introductions aimed at inducing you to read this semi- humourous article.

Instead, I shall commence ranting away tout de suite because, frankly, I have had enough.

Let me pose a very simple question to you:

Why is the service in most restaurants in England so appalling!?

Or is it just the places I go to?

If anyone has a logical answer to the above query, pray, drop me a line; I shall gladly hear you out.

Until then, I shall continue ranting about several of my recent ‘outings’,

I shan’t mention any names, of course, as doing so might have a profound effect on my life, namely I might get bad service next time I go there.

Oh, no, wait; that’s already happening!!!

Prior to taking you on a journey of whinging and complaining, I should like to point out that I am not that demanding as a customer; I only expect what people expect from me- to do the job that I am paid for properly and diligently.

And, no, it’s NOT too much to ask for!

Here we go then.
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DAY ONE: Le Chicken Place (Unnamed for reasons Unknown)


So my friends and I decide to go and have some grilled chicken (where could we have gone to, I wonder…) and go to this amazing restaurant that specialises in chicken dishes.

We all ordered our respective meals. In about fifteen minutes, my friends got theirs.

I didn’t.

As etiquette went, my friends decided to be polite and wait another ten minutes at which point I implored them to start eating as their food was getting cold.

Mine wasn’t; because it wasn’t there…

Forty minutes had gone by; I started getting a bit angry and VERY hungry and complained to the manager.

He apologised, got my food (in another ten minutes…) and gave me my money back.

Except he didn’t; instead, he gave me some free garlic bread to appease me…Did that work, do you reckon…?



DAY TWO: Le Steak House (Ibid.)


Yet another outing; this time at an American Steak House. Again, we waited for a fair amount of time but it was well worth it- the steaks were outstanding.

We took about an hour and half to finish off our meals; it was nearing closing time.

Yet, we wanted to have a look at the desserts menu; the waitresses did not like that one bit.

They wanted to go home.

With a frown, one of them passed us the desserts menu. A couple of us ordered the cheesecake.

It was brought in with unbelievable alacrity- almost straight away, in fact.

The cutlery, however, was on the table; on the actual table (which hadn’t been cleaned since we had our steaks...), not on a napkin or anything.

I then asked for the tab; having waited for about fifteen minutes, I asked one of the waitresses whether everything was alright.

She said, and I quote:

‘Yes, you will get the bill in a second; it’s just that everyone is so tired.’

Wow, should I try that on a client, do you think…?



DAY THREE: Le Burger Pub (Ibid.)


Every Tuesday, I go to this pub that does the most amazing burgers in the world.

Last night, my friend and I waited for our burgers for an hour and ten minutes.

Not ten. Not twenty. Not forty. No, SEVENTY minutes.

Do you want to know why?

There was a ‘mix- up’ (short for incompetence); they had lost the bit of paper which had our order on it.

It had taken them an hour to realise that; there are seven tables in the pub; I mean, surely they’d noticed that EVERYONE was having their burgers but us…

At the end, they gave us a free drink.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that EVERYTHING should have been free.

Seventy minutes…I mean, what the Hell!?

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Now, before you start saying that I am very horrible and demanding customer, think about the above scenarios and how each and every one of them could have been easily avoided if common etiquette was followed.

But, for some nebulous and mystical (at least to me) reason, it wasn’t.

To sum up, the above is getting on my nerves and spoiling my nights out; fix it, please!

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