A Runt’s Rant: Two Exams in a Week- NO WAY

Oh, my dear Lord, a friend of mine just called me and said that she had these two horrible exams next week!!!

She said she was at uni all the time, like, two hours a day, and had to do all of these other things such as her fifteen- hour- a- week part- time job and it was all just all too much for her to bear and she just did NOT have the time to physically see to all those things simultaneously!

I felt so sorry for her; I mean, it must be horrible to have to go to uni whilst working part- time and preparing for exams; after all, not a lot of people nowadays do that.

That is, naturally, mainly because it literally costs pennies to go to university and because life in England has become increasingly cheaper during the last five years; so cheap, in fact, that some 12% of the population has chosen not to work at all.

And, no, it most definitely is NOT because of this ‘unemployment’ that everybody keeps referring to. After all, if it there WAS high unemployment, the government would not have decreased the benefits some people need in order to survive.

Right?

Also, to top it all up, exams are normally so horrible; especially in England. It’s not like you’re given the last five years’ worth of past papers from which you can pick and choose the topics to study.

Moreover, it was surely inhuman of the university to schedule TWO exams in the same week!

I know, for a fact, that in Germany, for example, people only have two exams PER YEAR.

Two exams in a week is, by far, the most stressful and horrible thing that I have encountered!

Most people have nothing to stress about in their busybody existence- they live their lives and enjoy every moment of them- from the huge amounts of debt to the looking after their children, worrying that you might not be able to bring them up in a proper manner.

And the most terrifying bit about my friend’s dilemma is that she only has five days to learn EVERYTHING for those two exams.

She’s not like other students who have had all year to prepare for their exams; her tutors only gave her those five days and did not ALLOW her to study throughout the rest of the year.

In fact, I remember her telling me that they once advised her to do, and I quote her quoting them:

‘Party all you can and don’t worry about studying at all; after all, it’s not like you’ve paid anything for it!!! Live la vida loca, you will have plenty of time to study before the exams!’

Well, obviously, they lied to her; mainly because all of your lecturers WANT you to fail an exam because they want you to re- sit it in August as they hate going away to warm countries to enjoy their holidays in the summer.

They’d much rather stay in, savour the mouldy taste of the air, and aimlessly walk around whilst you’re re- sitting the paper.

And because of all of the above things that have happened through absolutely NO fault of her own, she will now fail those exams.

But, in the end of the day, I told her that everything was going to be alright so long as she continued panicking and whinging as, after all, that WAS the best strategy for passing an exam.

That’s how I passed all of mine anyway; and then I thought...

NOT.