'Social' Intelligence: How ASSUMING made an ASS out of U and ME

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Now, before you say anything, I should like to note that the there is nothing obscene about today’s topic.

After all, it’s common knowledge that ‘ass’ is another word for donkey and that’s exactly what the above saying aims at.

Prior to diving into yet another monologue of mine, I’d like to give you an example of what I mean by the above; and example which has, unfortunately, stuck in mind for quite awhile now.

When I first came to England (which was round about donkey’s years ago), I really liked the international environment that I was suddenly in; mainly because, to that day, I had never ever been outside my own country.

I really enjoyed meeting new people; I was constantly asking them where they were from, what they were studying, whether they like the university, etc, etc.

All in all, I was incredibly annoying and, if I was to meet me today, I would most probably kindly ask myself to shut the Hell up.

That was all very well until one day, in my first law lecture, in fact, I was speaking to a chap who was not what you might call the sharpest tool in the shed (for the record, I am NOT judging; merely stating a fact).

It was a Constitutional and Administrative Law Lecture; at the end of it, the lecturer gave us a task to research the Portuguese Civil Code and its similarities and differences with the English one (trick question, of course, as England does not HAVE one...).

As I was just leaving my seat, the said guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked me:

‘Oy, mate, I swear, the tasks that they give us, eh? Why would I want to know about the Civil Code of some African country?’

All I could say was a ‘I’m sorry, what?’ .

He then asked me where I was from and when I said that I was from Bulgaria, he smiled, laughed heartily and said:

‘Well there you go then; you, at least, will have some use of it! By the way, no offence, chap, but how come you’re not black?’

You can imagine that, at that point, I was quite certain that the person was on crack, mushrooms or some other very strong substance; there was no other reasonable explanation for his behaviour.

I remember smiling, in the friendliest manner possible, and replying that my parents were white which was a pretty solid reason for my not being black.

‘Ah, all right then; I just assumed that Bulgaria being in Africa and all, everyone was black.’

First off, let me reiterate that I DID tell you that I was stating a fact, right?

Second of all, assuming something, as CLEARLY demonstrating above, lures you in a twilight zone that you can’t easily get out of.

By assuming something you, most often than not, make a complete clown out of yourself because, quite often, you are basing your assumptions on things that you have HEARD and prejudices that you have ADOPTED.

You are, thus, NOT sharing an informed opinion that is worth listening to; as you do that, about 60% of the people around you will automatically start ignoring you.

The remaining 40% will make fun of you for the rest of your life.

In the end, you will realise that you have made a complete ass of not only yourself but the person that you were making the assumption about.

Why?

Mainly because such things are not easily forgotten and, had someone heard the above conversation at uni, I could have been given quite a colourful nickname such as, say, the African Snowflake (not racial joke intended).

In the light of the above, I should like to implore you to avoid assuming anything about anyone; it’s a bear trap.

And even bears can’t normally get out of those unharmed.