'Social' Intelligence: The Half- Meant Joke

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Think about it for a second; think of the last time you asked a friend whether he thinks that you have gained weight.

What was it they said?

It was most probably something along the lines of:

‘Well, I don’t know, would the fact that you are rolling around not denote that?’

And then he’ll start laughing and say:

‘I’m joking, I’m joking, you’re fine, you haven’t gained weight at all.’

The fact of the matter is that he really WAS joking; he didn’t mean that you were fat or anything. Nevertheless, it is equally true that there was a speck of truth in his initial joke. By saying that you were ‘rolling around’, he was implying that you have, indeed, gained SOME weight.

As a person who is joking in 80% of the time, I can assure you that there always is a speck of truth in a joke. With some people, it happens on a subconscious level and quite automatically.

With others (such as me), however, it’s quite intentional. After all, if a good friend of yours asks you whether he/she has gained a log of weight, you can’t really call him/ her a ‘fatso’ a get it over with, right? (well, technically you can but you shouldn’t).

At the same time, though, you want to help your friend by telling him that he/she has indeed gained SOME weight that he/ she can do away with.

What better way of doing it than through an innocent joke?

If you tell someone that they’re ‘rolling around’, they will undoubtedly (whilst giggling, of course) start thinking about whether you are, in fact, joking or whether you are, indeed, trying to imply something.

You will then probably look at yourself in the mirror and say something along the lines of:

‘Well ,yeah...I guess I COULD roll around, if I wanted to!’

And then you’ll go on a diet.

I am, by no means, saying that the above approach is correct or moral; what I am merely suggesting is that every single time someone starts joking around with you, you can be certain that the joke is half- meant.

Unfortunately, in most cases, half- meant jokes are said not because the joker cares about the jokee but because the joker is too afraid of saying anything to jokee outright.

Furthermore, seemingly innocent jokes are often used as subtle, yet quite acerbic, remarks.

Let me give you a couple of examples:

‘Aww, what a LOVELY dress; did you make it yourself?’

Now then...is that a joke or an insult...? Both, really.

‘Wow that curry’s amazing! Where did you get it from, ASDA?’

Again, quite innocent, if said with a smile, yet quite damn offensive.

‘That’s a pretty good tie and shirt combo; you never told me you were colour- blind!

’

Hilarious, right? And a bit harsh maybe?

Even though the above sounds quite farfetched to you, I’d like to implore you to be very careful about mingling with such ‘jokers’ on social gatherings or events as they tend to be like leeches: they feed on your blood to make themselves look better.

Moreover, do be careful about your own jokes. Granted, half- meant jokes do happen subconsciously sometimes; still, try to control yourself and refrain from using ones that might offend those around.

Trust me, most people are aware of the above theory and will find you out; and THEN things will get ugly.