Wednesday, 1 May 2013

A Runt’s Rant: Is 2013 the…New…2014?

Link to podcast to follow


Owing to the incredibly intense sunshine that has enveloped Southampton today, I am finding it increasingly difficult to rant about anything.

Nevertheless, it being a Wednesday and me being myself, I shall do my utmost best to do so.

Just as I was basking in the sunshine on my way to work today, thinking to myself how the world can sometimes be quite a wonderful place, the most amazing thing ever happened to me: I experienced first- hand time travel.

I am not, for once, being random or attempting to be funny; rather, I am merely stating the obvious.

I mean, what other logical explanation could there possibly be for my listening to a report on the Porsche Cayman 2014 S in April 2013?

As I walking around, still quite bewildered by what had just happened, my mind was racing as my look was running around the scenery.

It took me exactly 2.6 seconds to realise that I had not, unfortunately, travelled in time and had been yet another unfortunate victim of subliminal advertising.

(In case you were wondering what gave it away- it was a guy wearing a grass- green shirt. I knew for a fact, you see, that those were predicted to come out of fashion in autumn 2013. Ergo, it couldn’t have possibly been 2014. Logic at its best, I’d say.)

I wasn’t quite certain at time as to what the reason behind the said type of advertising was.

Did Porsche want me to think that they had defeated time itself with their flawless designs and futuristic technology? (Am actually not being sarcastic; I love Porsche)

Or were they simply implying that whoever did not drive a Porsche Cayman 2014 S was ‘so 2013’? If so, what was, I wondered, wrong with being ‘so 2013’ in 2013?

Another possible explanation was that Porsche HAD somehow managed to come up with a car out of the future which, of course, begged the question:

Why aren’t the G20 involved in all this?

I mean failure to predict economic meltdown and now this: letting a private company have open access to time travel?

When I looked online to compare the Cayman 2013 to the 2014 S one, however, I found out that they were, more or less, pretty similar in both performance and appearance.
Were Porsche then trying to unite the world by showing all of us that the past, present and future were not so different after all?

Or were they trying to make the point that if we wanted to change the future, we really did have to work pretty hard unless we didn’t want to end up with one mirroring the present?

The above was, I decided, too much to fathom in day (in a SUNNY day).

No more pointless contemplation, I decided, checking my Facebook.

‘Dude, the new FIFA 2015 game is out!’, read a friend’s status update.

I closed my eyes, sighed and reached the conclusion that time travel was not my cup of tea.

I’d always been more of a peppermint kind of guy.

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