A Runt’s Rant: When Do YOU Do Your Weekly Shopping?

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Well, I do mine in my lunch break and I’m not ashamed to say it.

Although, judging by the recent comments of pretty much everyone, I might well have a very good reason to be.

And here’s why:

The Guy Who Does His Shopping in a Suit

As I was walking around the supermarket today, picking up my groceries, a young couple walked past me and, after giggling for about five seconds, said:

‘ROFL’, the girl said. ‘Imagine if we went out to do our shopping in our graduation clothes! I mean, the guy’s practically doing his shopping in suit!’

The fact that I was wearing a suit, of course, was incredibly entertaining in itself. Its hilarity was, it would seem, significantly enhanced by the fact that I was also carrying a shopping basket full of fruit.

Point taken, though; next time I go out shopping in my lunch break, I’ll change into a track suit. Or a pair of overalls; weather permitting, of course.

You Should Get Your Kids to Do it

When I went to the counter, the shop assistant asked me whether I was normally doing my weekly shopping in my lunch break. When I said I was, she replied:

‘Oh, you poor thing! You should get your kids to do it for you; that’s what I do anyway!’

What a brilliant idea, I thought…All I needed to do was to get me some kids…

You’re the One; the ONLY One

When I finally reached work with my bags of shopping, a colleague of mine looked at me, smiled and said nothing. In my defence (to his not saying anything, naturally), I said that I could not possibly be the only one around who did his shopping in his lunch break.

‘You are, Mr Anderson; you ARE the One; the ONLY One.’

I had no idea who that Mr Anderson was and, to be honest, felt a bit offended by the fact that my colleague didn’t know my surname, having worked with me for more than a year now.

He then handed me a spoon and, looking rather amused, asked me to bend it by using my mind.

I was, however, too tired from my shopping trip and bent it using sheer physical force instead.

That, for some reason, didn’t make him as happy as I thought it would.

Although all of the above reasons seem quite logically compelling, I am still of the firm opinion that they’re actually not.

And if the above sounds confusing to you, you should try doing your shopping during your lunch break, in a suit, without using your kids and by being that One Mr Anderson who’s hobby, apparently, is bending spoons by using his mind.