‘Everyday’ Intelligence: Knowing How to Ask for Help

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Being an incredibly jovial and approachable person, there are but a few things that can truly infuriate me.

As previously noted, one of those is people being late for no good reason and not letting me know beforehand; something I consider immensely disrespectful.

 (See << http://myveryownhell.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/social-intelligence-why-you-shouldnt-be.html  >> )

Another thing that can easily turn my smile upside down is someone asking me for help/ advice/ a favour and then saying something along the lines of:

‘But can we please do that on a Tuesday at 8pm in, say, two weeks’ time at the ‘Marine Pub’? That’d suit me best as I’d be quite busy during the next couple of weeks; plus, the pub’s, like, right next door to where I live. I think you can take a bus there as there’s a bus stop nearby. Thaaanks.’

Asking for help is fine; in fact, it’s more than fine- it’s as essential for your general well- being as it is for your professional development.

Having said that, it is imperative to ask for help in a correct and proper manner and to keep several things in mind.

Let us take the above example, for instance. Let us say that person A has asked person B for some free legal advice (you know, as a friend). Upon person B agreeing to provide the said advice, person A turns around and says the above.

Now then, what’s wrong with that?

Everything.

To begin with, when you ask someone for help, regardless of how close you two are, you must ALWAYS keep in mind that you are asking him to spend some of HIS time on YOUR problem.

Taking that into consideration, it’d make no sense for you to ask him to help you out at a time and place which are convenient for you but inconvenient for him; right?

Now, let us take another example:

Let us (theoretically, of course) imagine that my eighteen year-old cousin had asked me to help her choose the right universities to apply to. Let us assume that I had agreed and we had, consequently, agreed on a time (8pm on Thursday) and place (Skype) to have a chat about it.

Would I, do you think, appreciate it if I called her on Skype at that time and on that day only to be told by my aunt that my cousin had went off to a seaside resort earlier on during the day without letting me know that she would be unavailable to Skype me later on?

How would I feel if I, say, had had to cancel a couple of appointments and eat my otherwise delicious dinner in less than ten minutes so that I wasn’t late for the said Skype call...?

I wouldn’t have a been a happy bunny, I can tell you that. Thank God the above is only a hypothetical situation, eh...?

To conclude, when asking someone for help/ advice/ a favour, remember that YOU need HIM and NOT the other way around.

In the end of the day, if you do any of the above, chances are that the same person shan’t help you ever again.

Unless he’s your cousin...