‘Social’ Intelligence: Don’t Get Mad; Draw Conclusions

Many people nowadays refuse to think before they speak or act. They have recently been coming up with ludicrous excuses, such as the following:

‘I simply don’t have the time to do the thinking!’

‘What’s the worst that could happen?’

‘Overthinking leads to poor results.’

‘I don’t want to...’

I am afraid that the above are examples that I have heard in my lifetime, the last one, in particular, being quite perturbing.

Such behaviour often wreaks havoc and causes unrest not only to the person who has acted without thinking but to those around him, as well.

Chances are, indeed, that such a behavioural pattern will result in a string of events that will, most often, lead to either offending or hurting someone.

If you have got this far into the article, you might have experienced the above quite recently.

A human reaction to getting hurt is to simply shut out the person who has done you wrong, not to talk to him for awhile, act like a child and ignore his physical presence so that he easily realises that you are mad at him.

Although the above acts as a sort of punishment to that person and a kind of incentive for him not to do what he did ever again, it makes very little sense from a logical or sociological point of view.

Seeing the above method as a form of appropriate retaliation against getting hurt or offended, we often forget that, by getting mad at and ignoring someone, we enter a vicious circle, a catch 22, if you will, of resentment, intrigue and even hate.

After all, whatever a person has done, by ignoring and behaving horribly towards him, you turn that person against you and endanger any future relationship with him, be it business or personal.

Also, many people will ask you to justify your behaviour towards the said the person and, quite often, out of hurt or spite, you will tell them what that person did to you, adding a bit of spice to the already saucy story.

Even though you might not realise it at the time, by doing the above, you are severely damaging that person’s integrity and his image in the eyes of people who have probably nothing to do with whatever has been said or done.

The above, may, in some social strata, result in an unhealthy dose of intrigue which is best avoided at the work place (and in life, really).

Moreover, by telling others how horrible you have been treated (thereby poisoning the other person’s image) you make the other person resent you even more which might result in that person wanting to sever all his bonds with you- family, personal, business, you name it.

Getting angry with people, then, makes no logical sense as you never know what the future holds for you and what people you might need; why make someone, who might be useful to you in the future, resent you in the present?

In the light of the above, I would urge you to, rather than being childish, getting mad and telling stories about others, simply draw logical conclusions about the person who had done you wrong.

Maybe you won’t trust the person as much in the future, maybe you will keep your distance from him, maybe you will treat him differently; it is all rather subjective.

But, pray, keep it to yourself, at all times.

I’m not saying that it’s easy to do; all I’m saying is that it’s the correct approach to adopt.

Put some method into madness; it’s bound to work.